Wields a Hammer Instead of a Wallet
Grab your popcorn and hold onto your Bitcoin because Uncle Sam has finally woken up to the digital gold rush! Better late than never, eh?
The Wild West of Crypto: Now with 100% More Federal Oversight
Eun Young Choi, the DOJ’s freshly minted crypto sheriff, and the National Cryptocurrency Enforcement Team (NCET) director, recently made some noise about cracking down on those naughty crypto exchanges in the FT.
Apparently, they’ve become a haven for “criminal actors” to profit and cash out. Who could’ve guessed? Certainly not the crypto faithful who’ve been touting the decentralization and anonymity mantra for years!
The DOJ’s plan? To focus on businesses that have been happily skipping around anti-money laundering and know-your-customer rules. You know, those little things were implemented to prevent criminal activity. But hey, why let a few rules ruin the unregulated party, right?
Crypto Crime: The New American Pastime?
According to Choi, crypto crime has grown “significantly” in the last four years. But don’t worry; the DOJ is on it now! Better late than the Titanic’s iceberg lookout, I suppose.
And get this – Choi and her team are also going after what they call “pig butchering” schemes. Yup, you heard it right! Scammers build relationships with victims over a period of months, fattening them up for the big scam, just like pigs for slaughter. Charming, isn’t it?
The Multiplier Effect: Because Why Use a Fly Swatter When You Can Use a Sledgehammer?
Choi said, “We hope that by focusing on those platforms, we’re going to have a multiplier effect.” Isn’t it cute when they use buzzwords? “Multiplier effect” – sounds like a feature in the latest version of Call of Duty.
The Staggering Numbers: The FBI’s Favorite Bedtime Story
The FBI estimated a whopping $3.31 billion was stolen through investment fraud in 2022, with crypto-related scams making up over $2.5 billion. Now that’s a lot of digital dough! But, again, no worries. The DOJ just nabbed a cool $112 million from six scams. At this pace, they’ll get all our money back by the time Bitcoin hits a million!
So, there you have it. The Wild West of crypto is about to get a dose of good old American justice.
Don’t worry if you’re a crypto enthusiast. It’s just Uncle Sam joining the party – albeit with a hammer and a pair of handcuffs. Just remember to HODL onto your sense of humor. You’re going to need it!