Let’s have a serious talk about the absurdities and ironies in the crypto universe, specifically Bitcoin’s ‘snail race’ transaction speed, its ‘sky-high’ fees, and the NFT madness engulfing the blockchain.

The world is captivated by Bitcoin, the ‘revolutionary’ digital asset. Its promises are grand, but its delivery is akin to a golden snail inching along in a high-speed digital race.

Bitcoin transactions are capped at a pace that makes a tortoise seem like a sprinter, especially when we throw Mastercard’s transaction speed into the mix. It’s like trying to compete in the Grand Prix with a horse-drawn carriage. So much for the future of finance!

 The Heavy Price of Bitcoin’s Slow Dance

When it comes to transaction fees, Bitcoin asks for a king’s ransom. The cost of moving your coins can range from a few dollars to over fifty, depending on how busy the network is. It’s like paying for a five-star meal and waiting hours for it to arrive.

And now, in a rather comical twist, Bitcoin developers are under pressure to resolve the network congestion caused by ‘Ordinals.’ And guess what? A Bitcoin mining company, Marathon Digital Holdings, and Brink, a nonprofit supporting open-source Bitcoin development, are ready to cough up a million dollars to help them do it.

Sure, a million dollars sounds like a lot of money. But in the grand scheme of Bitcoin’s issues, is it really? Will it be enough to combat the Ordinals that are congesting the network and slowing down transactions to a crawl?

Marathon and Brink may believe so. They’ve pledged to match all donations up to $500,000 through 2023, for a total potential amount of $1 million when combined with third-party donations. But even if they manage to raise this grand total, the question remains: Will it be enough to transform Bitcoin’s snail pace into a sprint?

NFTs: The Million-Dollar JPEG Jamboree

Now let’s stroll into the surreal world of NFTs. It’s a place where digital JPEGs fetch millions, and invisible statues become hot commodities.

People are spending the GDP of small countries to own… well, the rights to a digital image. It’s like buying the rights to view a sunset. It’s there, and it’s beautiful but does own a certificate make the experience any richer?

A Reality Check

So here we are, throwing a million dollars at Bitcoin to help it sort out its issues while people are selling JPEGs for millions on the same platform. Is this the digital revolution we signed up for?

Remember, wealth is not built on speculation but on sound investments with real-world utility. In a world that is becoming increasingly digital, it’s essential to differentiate between true innovation and expensive fads.