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The Irony of Artificial Intelligence & Human Ignorance
Welcome to the future! A place where we’ve decided that human intelligence is so unsatisfactory we’re turning to machines to validate transactions, approve credit lines, and even guess how we’re feeling. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, financial giants like American Express are plunging headlong into the world of artificial intelligence or AI. And why wouldn’t they? It’s high time we let computers take the wheel while we sit back, relax, and revel in our own ineptitude.
You see, they’ve figured out that humans are just too darn inconsistent to handle money. Maybe that’s because we still think Monopoly money can buy us real houses or that a lottery ticket is an excellent retirement plan.
So, what’s the elegant solution? AI. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “isn’t that a bit excessive? Couldn’t we just teach people to be smarter?” But why bother with education when we can just toss a shiny new AI at the problem?
AI: The Perfect Band-Aid for Financial Follies
Let’s delve a little deeper into this masterstroke of a plan. American Express, the granddaddy of credit, is looking to use AI for “approving cards and lines of credit”1. That’s right. We’re now entrusting machines to decide if we’re worthy of buying that luxury yacht on a fast-food worker’s salary.
But here’s where it gets better. They’re not just using AI to approve credit lines. Oh no, that would be too simple. So instead, they plan to use it to analyze customer sentiment and predict finances. Because who better to understand human emotions and future financial prospects than an emotionless machine, right?
The beauty of this is that they’re not even planning to develop their own AI. They’re going to use someone else’s. It’s like saying, “Hey, we can’t handle our own mess, so we’re going to let someone else’s AI handle it for us.” It’s outsourcing on a whole new level.
The Great American Express AI Adventure
Amex is going all-in on this AI business. Not because they have a grand plan but because they’re afraid of being left behind. While Mastercard and Visa are off playing with crypto like kids in a sandbox, Amex is being the careful adult, taking baby steps into the AI pool.
The company hopes to speed up transaction approvals and parse customer interaction data to analyze sentiment. Imagine a computer trying to figure out how you feel about your credit card statement. That’s like asking a fish to understand how it feels to climb a tree.
All Hail Our AI Overlords
The future of finance is upon us, and it’s as absurd as you’d imagine. As we stumble our way through the financial world, it’s clear that our solution to human error is to remove the human element entirely.
Now, let’s sit back, relax, and watch as we let AI tackle the monumental task of sorting out our financial follies. After all, what could go wrong?
Remember, in the great game of life; it’s not about being the smartest player. It’s about creating a smarter player to play for you.
